Last year's resolutions were abstract and dreamy, and several were so vague that I couldn't claim success if I tried. This year, I've expressed some hopes and desires that (a) express, cultivate, or strengthen the person I'd most like to be, (b) require me to learn new skills or advance existing skills, and (c) can be accomplished through perseverance and personal development, and do not require much outside intervention or luck. Finally, (d) this year's resolutions are largely quantifiable; in 364 days, there will be little question as to whether some nebulous aim has been reached. So, in 2008 I hereby resolve to:
1. Publish a picture book or a children's book.
2. Reduce body weight to 180 lbs. or less, and maintain.
3. Post content to blog at least 4 times every week.
4. Go to the gym at least 3 times every week.
5. Volunteer at least once every month.
6. Make a quilt of fabric scraps.
7. Learn to follow knitting/crocheting and sewing patterns.
8. Create and maintain a profitable online craft store.
9. Learn chef's knife skills.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
So this is the new year...
... and I don't feel any different. Before I unveil my New Year's Resolutions for 2008, I'd like to revisit my goals and aspirations for 2007; explanations for failure and pronouncements of success are included in [brackets] as appropriate. To provide a little context, I will say that these promises were written on
Every January 1st, I get all sentimental, and swear up and down: "This year will be different!" Well, this year, I don't really have a choice:
- On February 26, at
- On May 12, unless I really fuck this up, I will graduate from college. For good, this time.
- On May 13, for the first time in my life, I will be eligible for a career.
[Let's just stop here for a moment. As expected, I did turn 25 on February 26. However, I did not graduate until the summer (but on the eve of my birthday, I added a footnote proclaiming an August graduation as "still okay"). Most notably, I didn't start feeling like a real adult until after I graduated, and while technically eligible for some type of career, I remain largely unemployed.]
This is kind of the most important year of my life.
Having established the significance of this year, I would like to outline some concrete goals for 2007.
1. Fulfill the requirements for graduation in time to receive my diploma in May. If I cannot accomplish this, it will register as one of the biggest failures of my life.
[So I didn't drop out of school, as I threatened to do so many times. And I do currently possess a master's degree. We can now move on to bigger and better failures.]
2. Prioritize productivity. I spend several hours a day, no shit, "surfing" the internets. Just looking at pointless crap (as in, crap that does not assist me in reaching any of my stated goals). This has got to stop. I'm not saying I can't have fun. But 'fun' should no longer be defined as "reading pointless blog comments until I pass out."
[I stopped reading blogs for several months, because I would get so caught up in the comments. In writing my resolutions for 2008, I nearly resolved to read books more regularly. But I think my time spent on the internet (new, emerging media) is just as educational as time spent reading a book (traditional media), just different.]
2b. Prepare a schedule or to-do list for every day. Something needs to be done every day, whether it is one big thing or a trillion small things.
[I prepare a to-do list semi-regularly, but I do not excel at removing tasks from the list. Maybe this year I should try to write more realistic lists?]
2c. Have a cup of tea every day, at nearly the same time - at tea time. This is not merely an expression of my Anglophilia. This is one way to institute a scheduled break. And to use up all the friggin' tea I've bought.
[Yeah, didn't happen.]
2d. Set deadlines, and for fuck's sake, stick to them.
[Again, I need to learn to make realistic goals for myself. Perhaps the most "realistic" goal would be a flexible one; I need to learn to adapt to changing circumstances.]
3. Change my last name before my 25th birthday. The original goal was to change my name in time for it to appear on my new diploma; that is highly unlikely at this point.
[Again, in February I extended my deadline for this item. This has yet to be accomplished. I started the process, but did not finish it (as it a complex and involving affair, and I wasn't sure I wanted to have college degrees in two different names). I still very much want to change my name, and I hope to do it as soon as possible.]
3b. Get a passport. I don't have any immediate plans to go anywhere, but I'd like to have that option. Wear passport ring when getting photo taken.
[Didn't get a passport. And I'm pretty sure the ring is lost or broken :( ]
4. Reduce dining-out experiences to two per week. Besides being expensive (!!!), my reliance on others' cooking discourages my efforts to learn valuable cooking skills.
4b. Learn to make reliably good pancakes. No burnt spots, no rubbery texture.
4c. Learn to prepare and enjoy a wider range of vegetables.
4d. Experiment with spices and herbs.
4e. Cook a meal for other people at least twice per week.
[Finally, some success! I did make edible pancakes, for the first time, in February. I eventually stopped eating out so much - but not until I found myself broke, unemployed, and living with my mom. And then something miraculous happened: I learned how to cook. And not just spaghetti! I cook a meal for other people - my family - nearly every day. And, in a shocking turn of events, I willingly eat vegetables now! Learning to cook, and enjoying the activity of it, has been one of the most positive aspects of 2007.]
5. Stop abusing intoxicating substances. Note: I did not say stop using. Heavy drinking, last time I checked, isn't getting me anywhere (except closer to liver damage and bankruptcy). If I can't remember exactly how many drinks I've had, I should have stopped drinking already. This goal is suspended for bona fide celebrations.
[This one was a bust for most of the year. I continued to get unnecessarily drunk, especially at parties and in social situations where I had few other options for entertainment (i.e., gay clubs). After a Halloween party (and an especially brutal hangover the next day), I think I finally exorcised my binge drinking demon.]
5b. Intake of non-alcoholic intoxicants should be severely restricted.
[I was an unapologetic stoner from January to July, thereby delaying my graduation and causing my Chinese food budget to skyrocket.]
6. Avoid buying products manufactured under questionable conditions. I don't need all that shit, anyway.
[Ha! Being broke has a way of restricting your purchasing power. I now pay much more attention to where things are made, and I yearn for a day when I can afford to by things on my own terms (rather than my limited resources making the decision for me).]
6b. Learn to sew clothing for self and others. Learn to knit, for real this time.
6c. Make a quilt from the scraps of my old life.
[I bought more than $100 in fabric - in one session - but nothing ever came of it. It was misguided of me to believe that I would have so much spare time after school and thesis. These items are back on the list for this year.]
7. Start an herb garden. I mean, I already have one. All I have to do is plant the seeds!
[I planted herbs, but too late in the season. It was a really cool experience to see them sprout, though.]
7b. Learn to grow a few vegetables. Delicious ones. Grow them inside or on the patio, if possible.
[This year, I would like to start a (portable!) container garden, to grow tomatoes, squash, peppers, and herbs.]
7c. Grow flowers. Do not kill them. Press them or give them to the many people you love.
[This was just crazy talk. Besides, I think I'd much rather grow food.]
8. Stand up for my own interests and desires. Stop agreeing to do things I don't want to do. It doesn't make me a bad friend, student, or family member to prioritize the really important things I am trying to accomplish.
[I finally learned to say no! I stopped accepting invitations for shit I didn't want to do.]
9. Find creative ways to share my life with the people I love.
[This one was too vague to be a good resolution. Abstract resolutions, in general, don't seem like a good idea, as it is difficult to measure success.]
9b. Take more pictures. Allow others to take more pictures of me.
[I take a lot of pictures, but I still don't like having my picture taken. I'm just not photogenic. Maybe I need to practice an error-proof photo pose? (Yes, I have seriously considered doing this).]
9c. Make a distribute a mix CD at least twice a month.
[I made a couple of mix playlists, but never distributed them. They were really good. Twice a month was too lofty of a goal, though.]
9d. Write letters - not e-mails or text messages - telling people how much I appreciate their help, support, or general love and friendship.
[Complete and utter failure.]
9e. Be more forgiving, and more accepting of genuine apologies. Operate in a manner that requires fewer people to forgive me for doing hurtful or inconsiderate things.
[I'd like to think this happened, but I don't think it did.]
9f. Encourage happiness in others. Don't let personal bitterness or longing interfere with providing the support sought by others. People tell me important things and ask me for important advice for a reason. Do not betray their trust.
[I have become a more honest friend. I no longer give bad advice to serve my own needs or desires. I hopefully have stopped manipulating my friends, for good.]
10. Experience more art in person. Go to more museums, galleries, and live music events.
[I wish this would have happened. I'd like to try again this year.]
10b. Read more books. Stop claiming a lack of time for recreational reading; I would have time to read if I didn't waste so much time on the internet.
[See above notes about "new media" being just as good as books. Though, I would like to seek out some appropriate fiction to read.]
10c. Reclaim my creativity, and use it in ways that produce tangible results.
[Again, I have no real way of determining success or failure for this item. I guess it was a failure, since this year's resolutions have a particular focus on creative outlets.]
11. Stop allowing myself to get burned out on activism. There are plenty of things to speak out or take action on.
11b. Sacrifice time, money, or effort for those who need it more than I do. Support individuals doing important work.
[I did a lot of activist work last year, but I did get burned out. I have switched gears since graduation, and this year's goals reflect a renewed dedication to serving the greater good.]
11c. Confront loved ones who express prejudice. Even if they don't change their behavior, at least I attempted to address it. Confront myself when I express prejudice. Change my behavior.
[I call someone in a my family racist, sexist, or classist at least once a day :) I think more about my own prejudicial attitudes, and seek out their origins in the hopes of understanding them.]
11d. Learn grant-writing skills. Teach others. Share activist skills and ideas with others.
[Didn't happen at all. This year, however, should provide some good opportunities for that.]
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